I am actually working a prototype ( for resin again) which is very dear to me for she is named Louise. My older son is named Louis. No need to say more.
Anyway, I had some of these days you know…. Where nothing really happens but which are odd and bewildering emotionally in spite of all common sense.
And I faced again that fact I have to live with : I feel lost. Always. As far as I remember. I felt that lost that during two decades I had the same nightmare : I was on my way home but incapable to reach the house back… I stopped dreaming of it when a friend told me one day that if I ever get lost somewhere, she would come to pick me up. Now this friend isn’t one anymore as she took offense for me to not belong exclusively to her, but, anyway, she liberated me from this nightmare.
However. Yesterday evening, my guts squeezed in the claws of this feeling, I looked at the ball of clay I had in my hand. A beautiful, white and bright ball of clay. Perfect sphere in my hand. And I realized.
We are used to say ” where do we come from? Where do we go? Who are we?”
Well.. We have no choice but feeling lost and I would even add to this that it is probably a proof of mental sanity to be so.
We are living on a big ball. Our planet is nothing but a big ball, we are just going round and round on it; there is no real path leading somewhere. As we always are surprised to cross someone else’s path again and again; but in a way, it’s inevitable : going round and round and rouuund we are meant to meet endlessly whilst we try to get round obstacles…
Having a vertigo is pretty normal too; we are acrobats trying to maintain ourselves on this big ball without falling.
It’s all about that ball and the vertigo it gives, I mean, we all long for making somebody’s head spin. While the big ball keeps spinning around and we are in a spin panicked to not find a partner for this life’s ball…
We are nothing but acrobats waltzing on the edge of life. Round and round and round…
It comforts me in the way that I cannot loose who I care about and Love, for we are always going to meet around the lack of corner of this big ball.
So, all is not that dark, we are not so dark away; and we should try to have a ball during this one on that big one.
Here is a couple of teaser of My Louise… I hope that she will carry your heart around.