After selling my personal things to save my company. After the incredible wave of support and Love you sent me through thousands of comments and pms.
Here I am. Still here. Still surviving.
With a new preorder running on my website www.ckdolls.com, and as every year with a piece to submit the artists call for Spectrum’s competition…
I never used a model before; except myself for some body parts when I couldn’t afford an anatomy book, 6 years ago; when I started to sculpt.
This is my first piece using a model. I needed a model because this bust finally has too much to say about myself and not using one, I would have ended up by sculpting my own face not deliberately. Also, I saw on my model the opposite of what is said about him on the medias. I caught here and there the thing I was looking for.
I must say I have been the luckiest to have the permission and help of Didier Morville aka Joey Starr to sculpt him. He has been courteous, very kind, helpful, funny and friendly. I am very grateful for this.
Joeystarr is a french rapper and actor. He is extremely renown here but feared by most of people. He has a reputation of violence and uncontrollable behavior. Despite he is an amazing actor; the medias always present him like a Monster. Just like me. In a different way, but I am a Monster and if most of the time the crowd stares at him in the streets, afraid to ask an autograph; the crowd stares at me and point me out of its nasty finger every time I step outside.
What happens when two different kinds of Monstrosity meet?
Well, in this very case; my own Monstrosity saw something that people ordinary don’t notice in his.
Looking at him, I saw an immense and feverish Humanity and.. Velasquez.
There was like a year or two I had that project to sculpt Humanity itself; but I knew I needed a model. By chance, I saw a movie with JoeyStarr lately and I found it in him. Just the way I wanted to explain it with clay. I also noticed right away that if he plays contemporary movies, he would make an utterly brilliant and accurate Conquistador or Othello in the splendor of Renaissance for it suits him atrociously well.
I have been secretly smiling to discover that he was exactly what I saw. A good man. A most decent human being.
Finally this piece is about what we seemingly are. Deceptive appearances.
If you listen to the medias, that man is a beast of violence and rudeness. He is the guy you gotta switch of sidewalk when you cross his path. I think that became a vicious circle that the medias are playing with : if he doesn’t reply to that sort of statements; then yes, he cannot deny. If he replies to defend himself : Look at the beast! You see how aggressive he is??
There’s no way to win….
But the beast Joeystarr, if he posts funny stuff and jokes on his instagram; also quotes Flaubert and Jacques Brel…..
On my side, I gave in with the world. I must say I am infinitely tired to let people make the worst of me and my inner violence show up because of their behavior towards my not so usual family. I am tired to be pointed at with an accusative finger. I KNOW. I KNOW what I am. I KNOW what I did; and believe I am sorry to have failed. I KNOW there is no forgiveness for people like me. And as a friend who was very sorry for me wrote to me recently : I KNOW that there is not a single love story that has ever been written featuring someone like me. It’s a bit like saying to a blind man ” hey, you don’t see at all and you shall never see the light! too bad for you!”
THE BLIND GUY KNOWS. And just like him, I am tired to hear the same and for everyone to prove me that I have no place in society because I am a Monster of the worse kind.
So we have here someone considered like a Monster and going all around the world, and another one who at first sight looks like a random ugly girl who is a real Monster and almost not going out anymore.
I think that Humanity doesn’t come from smooth people. Very Barbie/Ken like looking persons just taken out of a cereals commercial on TV. Always smiling and teaching that happiness resides in sunny morning with an unattainable perfect family, constantly smiling as well; living in a perfect house where there is no mess and the lawn is always cut and green.
I mistrust dramatically “smooth” people. I am terribly afraid of them.
If you look at serial killers or children abusers : they are at 99% normal people. VERY normal people. It’s a little like in the movie 8mm when the masked guy finally takes it off and Nicholas Cage is horrified looking at him, so he tells Cage ” what did you expect? A monster?”
He’s just a very normal guy. Which makes it even more terrifying.
That’s the reason why I think that the world we live in tends and likes to designate “easy monsters” to fear in order to make the rest of mankind secure. This is also, in my opinion were racism comes from. It would be so very easy to recognize the evil if it had a distinctive mark or color. You don’t have to think further or put any effort to try to know or understand others : it’s written on their faces.
What a sorry world we live in….
I think that Humanity comes from broken people, those who suffered, those who went to Hell and came back from it. Because they know what pain truly means, what rejection truly is, what Evil is made of; and they know what surviving is.
The very kindest and most human people I know are broken ones who had a ticket to Hell and had to gain their return ticket from it.
I also think that in the gloom of our world, being mean and careless became the norm. Thus, finally, Humanity can appear like a Monster for it is not the usual.
How many times have you been surprised by the kindness or caring of someone? Like it was completely miraculous?
Humanity became so unusual that it is now the biggest surprise you can have.
I imagined a man, made out of Humanity pieces. Gathered through centuries and all stitched together with gold. This is why he has a rock and roll tattoo and a Renaissance collar.
He went through Hell and came back. Crawling and struggling in the dark. Humanity is fragile, beholding a tear looking at us. But it is still standing.
This is what counts the most in Life : to be still standing.
Here is Lord Morville, Scraps Humanity. Humanity itself. This is how I saw JoeyStarr. This is my way to keep thinking that goodness still exists and my way to make myself feel secure.
I want to thank for his assistance and well… Humanity, my model JoeyStarr. My Therapist and Agent Joanne because she used my gambling problem to make me ask Didier to sculpt him, and I lost 10 bucks… lol…. Without her this bust wouldn’t exist. My extremely dear friend Cheryl Simokat for all the tremendous help and support she gave me, and Bruce her husband for the time zone thing; they know what I talk about. My friend Sophie Bambilove who holds my hand every Spectrum’s night. Fruit Cake who still thinks am a superstar. To all my friends, you all know how I love you and how grateful I am for your time looking at my wips every day; and I want to thank my DD Queen : Connie Lowe who encouraged me, taking on her sleep time to convince me I was good enough.
Of course, as for each unique piece, my blood is in this piece. A couple of drops on his lips and one in his blue eye. To not fail the urban legend and my collectors ❤
I am not back to ship and make the face ups for my delightfully patient collectors; Spectrum’s artists call is only once a year…. Thank you so very much everyone.